As we count closer to my Dec 1st move-in (out) date K__’s had the charm cranked to eleven. It’s alternately effective and infuriating with vast plateaus of indifference. I don’t know whether it’s meant to grease the wheels for the remaining high-risk time to keep us from killing each other or whether it’s meant to somehow win me back. Probably like so much else, a bit of each. And (also) like so much else, none of the above — maybe the person K__ wants to be now is charming, nothing to do with me in the first place.
We discussed the holidays, and quickly agreed that I would spend Thanksgiving with her and her Mom (who now lives nearby) as usual. What’s unusual (besides us separating) are a few extra relatives attending. Relatives no longer in the dark about “what’s up.”
I’m normally one to stick to my initial commitments — no matter how ill-considered, but as the big day approached I panicked, called my folks, gave them the short version, and invited myself down for an overdue visit. I’m pretty sure she’s not been completely honest with her family about the circumstances, and since I’m the one moving out, any outside observer would easily conclude any problem must be mine; and what kind of asshole abandons his four-year-old anyway. I could see the whole thing going very poorly. I felt outnumbered days before any of them actually arrived, and while I’ll gladly take the underdog role, with that comes a lot of snarling and barking and (occasionally) biting fucking faces off.
Why subject any of us to that? I’d much, much rather spend four or five hours alone in a car. My family might not be my favorite people in the whole world, but they proved themselves supportive as ever. Dad served up a helping of patriarchal, steeped-in-that-old-religion bullshit, but I know he was just trying to help.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid the in-laws completely — they’d be in town for the whole weekend. Sure enough, we spent the evening together Friday and, of course, everything went fine. The anticipation of the thing is always a bigger deal than the thing itself.