The lease signing went ahead as planned, and in its wake, K__ and I had several surprisingly coherent, detailed, and civil discussions about logistics. Furniture, money, child custody, the upcoming holidays, etc. Things continued to progress so smoothly, in fact, that a speck of doubt crept in. Is separation really inevitable? Are our differences truly so unresolvable?
The inertia of movement being every bit as powerful as the inertia of sitting still, and having an extreme deficit of motivation to change course at this point, I (for my part) have been sticking to the plan.
Sunday evening, we discovered that the water heater had a minor (but nonetheless very wet) leak. It’s been ruining the subfloor and creeping beyond the bathroom closet and at least as far as the hallway. This would be stressful in the best of times, and now is definitely not those times.
Nine PM on a Sunday night is an awful time to call anyone — especially when that someone will eventually be sending you a bill, so we decided not to call the plumber until morning. Instead, we turned off the valve at the heater and when that didn’t work, shut off water at the main.
Someone famous is said to have muttered something clever about people showing their true selves during moments of crisis. I can’t remember enough of it to google the correct quote, but I’m sure you know more-or-less what I’m referring to. I won’t bore you with the minutia of it, but suffice it to say I have been reminded of exactly why it is that I know it’s time to go.
Today, a friend opined (and I think I agree) that perhaps what I’m seeing is not only the inherent and natural frustration that results when a normal American is denied the necessity of running water. There is also the dawning realization that however disappointing she may find my participation in this particular crisis, it is clear that in the future there’ll be even less. To admit as much would require acknowledging that my current assistance is non-zero, in turn decreasing the validity of her complaints. Ergo: massive frustration and drama.